Alright. I believe that I mentioned in a previous post, probably in late February, that I accepted K-Whorf's challenge to participate in a race. When she broached the subject, it seemed like a great way to put some sort of punctuation on my recovery, to set a goal to push myself, and to show Katie that I was grateful for her effort (instead of just telling her). Well, we ended up getting a good group together to participate, and this past weekend was the event. Katie, Jennie, Carrie, and Molly all finished the half-marathon-- quite an achievement for Carrie and Molly, since it was their first foray into distance running. My mom, my aunt Denise, and I all did the 10k walk-- yeah, those 6.2 miles aren't short, so I'm proud of Jan and Denise for their effort.
However, while I'm pleased that I finished the walk, I was really surprised by what I felt crossing the finish line: not much of anything. I think I'd hoped that I'd be either much further along in my recovery or totally back to normal by this point, and I'm just not. I'm still trying to make sense of everything, still waiting for all of the aches to go away, still trying to piece a life together. And whether or not it's warranted, I feel like I'm letting some people down, myself included. I thought that I'd finish the race with lot of fist-pumping and ecstatic calls to the members of Team Dana that weren't participating themselves-- that didn't happen at all. So, clearly, I have more work to do to get back to being me. (The real Dana would've had matching t-shirts printed for everyone, maybe hair ribbons too, made a CD soundtrack as a memento, and would've been dancing across the finish line instead of just walking.)
Aside from that, I had a great weekend in DC and Annapolis. I feel lucky to have relatives that I look forward to seeing-- I've heard that isn't always the case. Also, as everyone gets older and their lives get more complex, the sense of relief upon reunion increases. It's like, "Whew! We made it another 6 months, and we're all still hanging in there!" (Both sides of my family have taken some serious hits in the past year, so being able to share a meal and some laughs feels that much more fortuitous. And, no, I'm not certain that "fortuitous" is the word for which I was looking.)
Anyway-- back to work. I have to get my own face on a milk carton!!
No comments:
Post a Comment
Please leave me a comment-- I appreciate the support and feedback, and I encourage a dialogue between the different people who've been following this from the beginning.