As I wrote a few days ago, I lead a pretty small life right now. Each week I go over to my friend Erin's house, and watch Glee with her and her roommate, Molly. Sometimes we drink themed cocktails, and we have Gleek t-shirts, and it's a good time. And it's pretty much the highlight of my week. (Charlie Brown would say, "Good grief.") And I MISSED it! I had another interview earlier and ran a bunch of errands on pretty much zero sleep, and I fell asleep around 7pm. I woke up at 1am, and now it's 5am, and I have another interview at 10am. And then I'm driving with Mama Jan to Cincinnati. Oy. (In a great episode of 30 Rock, several characters collude to get a spoiled actor to the studio on time...one changes the time on his watch, one told him the rehearsals started several hours before they actually did, etc. The actor bursts into the studio, and goes, "WHAT THE HELL TIME IS IT!?...I took my son to his cello recital this morning and it turned out to be midnight YESTERDAY!" I feel very sympathetic to Tracy Jordan right now.) I will be dragging ass all day tomorrow and I missed Glee. Not cool.
I've done a good job of ignoring something lately. I'm applying for all of these mindless part-time jobs, in the hopes of earning some cash and getting back into the swing of things. I remember leaving my last mindless hourly job feeling like, "Yes! Finally! My hairnet-and-or-nametag days are over!" But, ha-ha, the joke is on me. I'm not at all excited about the prospect of working at some restaurant or retailer near my parents' house and running into former classmates or their parents. "My goodness, Dana, why are you working a cash register? Aren't you 27?" "Yes, Mrs. X, I am. I'm only here temporarily." "Well, [insert name of my former classmate] just finished [his/her] [3rd year at Deloitte/rotations for medical school/first murder trial] and is doing so well!" I've already had to do that once, and I don't want to do it again. Also, I don't know why I am even slightly optimistic that I can work a bunch of hours on my feet. Excuse me, but FUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKK. There are some days when I feel very grateful and very hopeful about what's to come, and I feel a sense of resolve and confidence that everything will be great. And then there are days where I feel I have no traction, no direction, and no allies. I just have trouble digesting the idea that my reward for getting through everything is a job where I make $7.50 an hour working for a company that I'd normally blame for everything that's wrong in the world. Ugh.
And this is why I need my fix of Glee.
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