Las papas asesinas

Tonight was somewhat bittersweet. As I mentioned a handful of entries ago, a dear family friend, Howard, passed away recently (03 Nov 09), and his family and friends gathered tonight to, more or less, celebrate his life. I was pleasantly surprised to find the gathering to be warm, inclusive, comfortable-- lots of laughing, lots of easy conversation. The party itself was a fitting testament to Howard's character. I remember, even when I was pint-sized, that Howard was always easy to talk to-- there was never that awkward divide between adult and child. (Alright, alright, I understand why that divide exists, but it can be difficult to overcome once the child reaches adulthood. I have a lot of aunts and uncles, so I've given this considerable thought. And Howard and his wife were always easy to be around. None of that "Well, you'll understand when you're older" bullshit.) I'm glad that I had the opportunity to know him.

Quick-- click on this: http://www.fandome.com/video/116467/Dog-Loses-It-When-Soldier-Returns-From-Afghanistan/?q=k

And we're back.

I can't help but think about some big stuff tonight. It doesn't seem fitting to talk about Glee or how much I hate Julia Roberts. I spoke to a friend of Gige's tonight [did I already make it clear that Gige is Howard's wife? I lose track.], and she described a rightly WTF!?-tastic situation. This woman's husband was diagnosed with terminal abdominal cancer 7 or so years ago. He has defied the odds several times. This woman had taken the steps to accept the idea that she'd be a widow, that she'd be the first amongst her circle to lose a spouse, etc. But her husband is still holding on, while her dear friend's husband was gone in a matter of hours. Honestly-- WHAT. THE. FUCK. Gige and her friend have some years on me, and have lived through hard times, and are probably much more fluent with the basic WTFiness of life. I think that I'm still learning that lesson.

My close friends and contemporaries are living our lives in large part for the future. We are in arduous graduate programs, in trudgerous jobs, (apparently, "trudgerous" is an actual word, so that's cool), in dire straits, because we're building for what's to come. But, since February, I think my perspective on that has changed, and my conversation with Mary-Lou [I think that was her name...I have just one glass of wine and my short-term memory becomes a sick joke] reinforced it. I am definitely not going to stop making plans or daydreaming about the high life, but I do pay more attention to how I want to live my life in the interim between now and my "next step".

Ugh, so heavy. Here-- http://www.fandome.com/video/116467/Dog-Loses-It-When-Soldier-Returns-From-Afghanistan/?q=k

(I love the very end how the dog hops back onto her dad's lap, like "I'm parking here and then you won't leave again. Dad, Dad, Dad. Belly-rub, belly-rub, belly-rub!")

Another bittersweet aspect of the evening was reuniting with some family friends that I haven't seen in YEARS. I mean, YEARS. Let's put it like this-- the last conscious memory I have of spending significant time with the kids of this family included my siblings and I participating in a choreographed dance to Laura Branigan's "Gloria" which was performed for an audience of our four parents in a basement. Oh, you say you don't know that song? Well, let me help--

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_krKjEPbMt4

Yep, THAT song. For anyone that knows my brother, Joe, it should be very clear that this took place a long f-ing time ago. Since then, this family, the Schultes, have grown into adults, and it was nice to see them again. Two of them have children of their own, a fact that will take me about a week to wrap my head around, and none of them look like the type of people who'd dance to Laura Branigan in a basement. At least not openly. To be honest, there's a sense of comfort and continuity in seeing them-- after all of these years, they're still around. It's just like, "Ok, we made it through the last 20 years and we're all doing fine. High fives all around, team!" For what it's worth, I sincerely hope that it's not another 20-something years until I see them again. I should also note that the "Killya Potatoes" that I referenced in my 24 Mar 09 entry is a recipe from the Schultes. That, in and of itself, is reason enough to keep in touch. Ohhhh, so much butter. (It should also be noted that the Coke-soaked ribs I mentioned in the entry were courtesy of the late, great Howard. The little gifts that we give one another...)

Good night-- and one more thing:

http://www.fandome.com/video/116467/Dog-Loses-It-When-Soldier-Returns-From-Afghanistan/?q=k

IT NEVER STOPS BEING GREAT.