Grandiose Ideas

Ask any close friend or family member of mine, and they'll likely testify that I am a girl with grandiose ideas. By and large, they don't turn into much, but they are grandiose just the same. They usually involve the following statement: "No, I'm serious. We should actually DO THIS!"

Anyway, cut to a few months ago, I was Gchatting with ATL Laura as I am wont to do, and our dialogue turned to Diet Coke. This is not unusual; ATL Laura and I could probably release an album of love songs written about DC without much difficulty. I told her that I had a grandiose idea, and she was probably thinking, "What else is new?" or "How supportive do I actually have to be for this one?", but was game. My idea was this: to do the necessary research to prove that my regular consumption of Diet Coke was the root cause of my spinal tumor, use the findings to bring a massive lawsuit against the Coca-Cola Company, and then use the money from what I imagined would be a massive settlement to a) pay of my medical bills and b) abandon my job search. Laura, being a legitimate scientist [seriously, she's getting her PhD, and generations of hamsters have died at her hand], was quick to poke some logical holes in the idea, and diffused my ire against our sweet elixir.

Cut to right now. It's almost 3am, I can't sleep, I have a headache that would bring a grizzly bear to tears, and it is absolutely because of my DC detox. Honestly, I feel awful. No amount of water and no amount of The West Wing seem to help. I might have to consult with ATL Laura once again. And maybe turn it into a conference call with Erin Brockovich.