Here's a small tip from me: when your doctor gives you meds to take to alleviate pain, TAKE THEM. There is a reason they were prescribed in that dosage and in that frequency, and it's not a coloring-outside-of-the-box, look-at-what-a-unique-snowflake-I-am situation. More specifically, don't let your post-operative pain be your alarm clock at night. I know, I know, alarm clocks are annoying and no one likes to abide by them-- I've certainly been known to throw mine across the room, yell at it, or just plain ignore it-- but they are a much more pleasant transition to a wakened state than your body being literally shaken awake by its own burning, searing pain.
Excuse me, but HOLY FUCKING SHIT, can somebody please remind me once again that I had my motherfucking spinal cord cut open and that I'm going to be in serious pain for a little while?! Or barring that, just explain to me why every so often I tell myself, "I'll just take one instead of two, and if I need more, I'll take it later" when I'm referring to ANYTHING palliative?! Not only am I putting undue stress on my body, which has been going above and beyond what the doctors expected, but I'm putting undue stress on the people around me when I am late to take a pain pill and have a breakthrough bout. Has my mom not been through enough this week? Did I somehow decide my dad needed one more thing to worry about?!
And so the tears are flowing again-- recovery is supposed to be up and down, and it's down right now. A quote I love, which I think I might have a mantra until this particular bout subsides is this: "The lowest ebb is the turn of the tide." Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, I believe...(lit people, set me straight on that). And that's appropriate for me...I am supposed to visualize my spinal cord, unobstructed, fluid flowing freely, healthy, and free of swelling...ok...I'll keep murmuring that, and you, whoever is reading this, I hope you are sleeping soundly, letting your body be at peace, in restorative dreamy sleep, until your day greets you with whatever malarky it may.
Tomorrow I am watching 30 Rock all day long, and will be making a massive idiot-proof schedule of pain meds. Tina Fey + narcotics + an easy craft project = a happy Dana. If you want to join me, there's room on the couch at Grandma's. Just holla. And maybe bring some Popsicles.
I come to help you with other sister and sister from another mother. I don't have a box of dogs, but it isn't anything that some Chicken Curry and a Diet Coke can't fix. Hold on, sister's coming.
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