So, last week my sister had been saying that she was coming into town, and I was looking so forward to seeing her-- and having someone around to bullshit with-- and it didn't quite go as planned. Well, apparently, I'm a lot lonelier than I thought because I did NOT respond well to Carrie's plans changing. [Note: I'm listening to a duet between Patty Griffin and Emmylou Harris, and it's making me ache for summers in Northern Michigan with my girls. Considering the 5 inches of snow on the ground, the Wonder Bread-esque color of my skin, and the sub-par nature of the last few months, I am overdue for a heaping dose of sunshine, the sandbar at Torch Lake, and late-night games of Scattergories.] I absolutely lost it on Friday evening and again yesterday. It wasn't even a matter of being angry with Carrie, it was sheer frustration at the potential of getting some fun and variety, and then not having that potential crystallize.
Also, I was forced to face some hard truths yesterday about my recovery and what my expectations should be, and it just kind of sucks! At this point, it seems as though the few things that I had to look forward to, the things that were sort of propelling me through the general less-fun-ness, are not as close as I'd thought. Or perhaps I have to reconsider the whole sketch I had for the next chapter of my life. Under normal circumstances, those hard truths are plenty to throw someone for a loop-- but factor in the misadventures that come hand-in-hand with my flavor of surgery, and is it any wonder that I'd do some heavy-duty primetime-teen-drama-caliber clinging-to-my-pillow "just-leave-me-alone!" kind of crying? Oof. Poor Jan. [Note to self: add "ridiculous crying jags" to my list of reasons to not have kids.]
A few glimmers of sparkliness that occured over the past few days:
- I saw I Love You, Man for the second time on Friday and it was just as funny, if not funnier, the second time around. I just don't understand why people waste money on seeing scary movies or those ridiculous films that critics have been calling "torture porn"...in terms of plain financial concern, why pay for something that makes you feel BAD? Granted, I could say the same thing about romantic comedies-- because, if I'm really honest with myself, they don't actually make me feel good. Maybe for a few minutes-- but after that initial "awww!" moment, I get smacked in the face by the Reality Fairy. For the record, my favorite movies are the ones that take genuinely flawed characters and put them through situations that straddle the dramatic and the comedic. (Why have you not seen The Apartment yet?) Those stories are the ones that are the most indelible because they most closely resemble real life.
- My surrogate sister Adrienne is getting married in about a month, and I got to tag along as she did her hair and make-up "rehearsal" with the beautician. It was enjoyable for several reasons: a) Adrienne and I kept trading Steel Magnolias references (the beautician is based in a salon that is sort of in the middle of nowhere, and the client that left as we were coming in had the most dated haircut I've ever seen...we're talking early 90's PTA-mom), which never stop being funny; b) Adrienne looked STUNNING-- her fiance is going to shit himself when he sees her ; c) I love any opportunity to get "backstage access" to anything, and being the first person to see Adrienne's wedding day look was totally like that.
- Adrienne's mother threw a gorgeous bridal shower on Saturday morning at what I think will become my new favorite restaurant. The party was tasteful, fun, well-attended, and there was none of that typical awkward, contrived shower minutiae. Fantastic. I did however spend the rest of the day, and the better part of the next day pretty sore from sitting like a lady! (Case in point: my cousin's baby shower was the next morning...I woke up and my body said very clearly, "No." I made a citrus salad dressing for my mom to toss with baby spinach, and went right back to bed.)
- My canine neice was in town with Carrie, and having Princess Beans around is always a glimmer of sparkliness. I took her for a little walk and she damn near pulled my arms off from tugging on the leash-- I'm still sore from this, for the record-- but having a warm pile of puppy sleeping at the foot of my bed was well worth it.
I'm looking forward to the NCAA Finals tonight-- it's a good day to be a born-and-bred Michigander. Sparty on!
You come to Bloomington soon where Niecelet and Biscuits can help make you feel better. AND, there is LOTS of OTH in our house. Fancy. Thirdly, Carol can take care of Sister in an effort to make Sister feel better (clean laundry, healthy snacks, premium cable.)
ReplyDelete