Open Letter to Nicole Kidman

Dear Nicole,

Congratulations on being turbo-famous and wealthy. I hear that's fun. It's impressive to win an Academy Award and be recognized by the industry. I've never met you, so I can't attest to this personally, but the buzz about you seems to be that you're well-liked by your co-stars, so "way to go!" on that, too. You named your daughter after a day pretty much everyone loves, especially Christians! Wonderful. And your campaign for Chanel #5 was stunning. Well done.

I wanted to bring two things to your attention, though. I am not a film professional, I am not responsible for casting actors and actresses in juicy roles, I'm not a director that is dying to work with you. I am, however, a fan of movies and of pop culture in general. I make these two points from that humble position.

First, Moulin Rouge! is one of my favorite movies. I thought you brought a lot to the character of Satine, and it must have been a wonderful experience to work with Baz Luhrmann, Ewan MacGregor, and Jim Broadbent. However, I noticed that you chose to maintain your Australian accent for all of your dialogue. The bulk of the story takes place in turn-of-the-century Paris. I know that it's a musical and that liberties have to be taken to make it shine, but Jim Broadbent's British accent makes sense-- maybe Harold moved to Paris from somewhere in England, and he never lost his accent. At least he pronounced the French words with a French accent. Ewan MacGregor's Christian was from London, so his accent, while a touch too Scottish, was still reasonable. Satine is presented as a woman who was poor to the point where she had to become a sex worker. She lived a glamorous life and had lofty theatrical aspirations, but she was poor. So, I don't think she took frequent holidays to Australia as a child, and she never talked about moving from Sydney to Paris. We are led to believe that she is a genuine Parisienne. And then you started talking, and the audience gets thrown. Now, you had to sing and dance, and wear a corset, and I heard you were injured during filming, so I'm willing to let that go.

But, then earlier today, I saw the trailer for Margot at the Wedding. I'm a fan of Jack Black and Jennifer Jason Leigh, so I'd really love to see this movie. However, the lines you deliver in the trailer all have a slight-but-noticeable Australian accent. You play Leigh's sister, and she has no accent. If you're sisters, shouldn't you share the same accent? I know you must be busy with upcoming roles and raising your children, but maybe take a few weeks to attend a few sessions with a dialect coach. My friend Catherine is from Australia, and I've heard her do a better American accent than you...and Catherine doesn't make an 8-figure salary. You know Kate Winslet? Or Cate Blanchett? Or Kate Beckinsale? They've been able to make it work. (Let's assume it has nothing to do with their first names being "Kate".) I know you can do it, Nicole.

Second, it's obvious that you've had some work done on your face. It is particularly noticeable in your lips. As an actress, you have to tell a story, and your facial expressions are a major weapon in that arsenal. Having doctors pull and stretch your face in different ways may make you look younger or smoother or more conventionally attractive. For sure. And you seem to enjoy being a brand representative for luxury goods, so your face needs to be flawless. I get it. But, it stands to reason that acting is your primary passion, not modeling. So, how about you don't do anything further to paralyze your face? Your eyebrows should be allowed to lower once in a while. Also, getting injections of Restylane or collagen in your lips? It does give you a pucker. And that may be fun. But it also looks borderline ridiculous. You have small, refined features, and together they have a striking effect. No one has a face likes yours. But, full lips look ridiculous. What if Audrey Hepburn had gotten massive breast implants? Or if Barbra Streisand got a nose job? Horrifying, right? It's very distracting for an audience to be watching your face in a close-up when all they notice are your mutant lips. Let me let you in on a secret that apparently no one has told you: they don't look natural. Now, Nicole, you have two daughters, and millions of young female fans. Do you want to set an example that cosmetic procedures are so desirable and acceptable? Come on.

Best wishes--
*Dana K. Monforton

PS Your cover of "Something Stupid" with Robbie Williams was lovely.