"It's a war on obesity and there is no exit strategy."

This will be a short entry, as I am a tired puppy. Mama Jan is nursing an MFer of a stomach bug, so I filled in for her at her store today, and I'd forgotten how tiring retail can be. Also, I'd forgotten how disappointing it is to witness people spending $850 on a stuffed animal. (For real. I am not exaggerating.) My mom works at a family-owned toy store, and she's met some wonderful people in her 20+ years in their doll department. People come in and have stories to tell, and they share an interest in a niche market...and then there are the crazies. Luckily, I didn't have to interface with any of the latter today, but I did witness the purchase of a stuffed animal valued at approximately two months' rent in my last apartment. Gross.

I have started to get the ball rolling on what could be a really enjoyable night out for some alums from my high school. There is a very seedy dive-bar about 15 minutes away from my parents' house, and on Fridays and Saturdays, the bar has karaoke. It's the type of joint where a pitcher of beer is about $4.50, and it's best to not ask what kind of beer it is. Also, when the barmaids make last call, the waitresses come around and ask if you'd like more rounds between then and closing time. If you do, they distribute little tokens for each drink you intend to order. It's a wonderful system for enabling alcoholism and drunk-driving. But, it's the type of place where a pair of sweatpants, some flipflops, and last night's mascara are considered couture. Awesome. I want to see my high school buddies at this place, with a plastic cup of beer in one hand, and a microphone in the other. What a merry Christmas we'll all have!!

Lastly, my mom and I have taken to watching Making the Team: The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders on CMT, and we just watched a mini-marathon. There is just so much to say. The women who run it are ice queens, the DCC candidates are generally dumb as rocks, the team trainer is a caricature (the title of this entry is one of his pep-talk gems), and the whole spectacle is entirely backwards and ridiculous. That said, it's also really entertaining, and it makes me want to get off my ass and do some high-kicks. A major, major issue I have with watching the dance rehearsals or training sessions is that the girls go through the workouts WITH THEIR HAIR DOWN. I know not one single girl who works out without a ponytail. It's the visual equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Yeesh.