Jamais-vu/deja-vu

My LBP has been breached in a big, bad way.

I opted for a last-minute trip to Cincinnati with my mom to get my head right, and that was pretty much the worst judgment call of all time. I keep forgetting that my grandmother's house, which she no longer occupies, is NOT a place of fellowship and respite. It is a place of chaos, depression, dysfunction, and general shittiness. It used to be the place where I'd get into mischief with my cousins and have heart-to-hearts with my aunts and uncles. We'd use a skateboard to luge down the long driveway. We played a zillion card games. And now it just sucks. I dare anyone in the family to disagree with me, including my grandmother. It's not fun at all anymore. I read once that there's an equal and opposite counterpart to deja-vu-- it's called "jamais vu", and it refers to the feeling that you've never experienced something even though it should be familiar. It is SO the case at the house. I know I've been here a thousand times before, but it's like none of it is familiar. None of it is what everyone remembers.

On the other hand, I am enduring an uncanny case of personal deja-vu.

In other news, I finally had the chance to hear the other side of the story, regarding a somewhat dramatic family issue. I spent the rest of the day wanting to vomit and/or punch someone in the face.

I am looking forward to tomorrow-- 1) that means that TODAY will be over, really a blessing to us all 2) I get to see my old housemate, Jill, and her canine daughter, Lucy. Luckily, Jill doesn't ask who I'm more excited to see; she knows it's a toss-up. I LOVE Lucy. My little Lu-bee-doo. She smells like Fritos and has a pink crocheted poncho that just melts the heart. There may also be LaRosa's calzones involved, and that speaks for itself. 3) GRAMMY AWARDS! EVENT TELEVISION! Yippee! 4) It's one day closer to Monday, when this ill-advised trip will be over.

I wish there was a frozen margarita machine within walking distance.