In the process of sifting through all of the stuff still remaining at Gma's crib, Jan unearthed the DVD of my surgery. Don't ask me why, but I watched the entire thing. I had watched a clip of it right after surgery, but I didn't realize that there were several "chapters" to it. There is a classic money shot-- there are a pair of tiny tweezers grasping that motherfucker of a tumor, lifting it from the healthy cord tissue, and getting it the HELL out of there. There's a few shots where I watched my nerves being severed. (Like, "Hey, there goes her fingers!") There's also a wide shot of the entire surgical area on my upper back/neck. Remember the pictures of my scar, with the anchor-like drawing? And, um, I just want to say, with a great sense of assuredness: NO FUCKING WONDER I HAVE HAD SO MUCH PAIN. OhgreatmotherofChrist, it is gruesome. Seriously. I'd estimate it was a 3"x4" like, PIT, in my back! Can we say "ouch"? For the record, the spinal cord is not a place to go digging around with some metal pointy things. No.
I had dinner with Jill, former housemate, earlier tonight. It was probably the only thing that I'd prefer doing over watching the Grammys. She, too, has had a rough year. However, she has one very important advantage in facing challenges: a beautiful little canine daughter, Lucy! I need to write some poetry about that dog because she is a love. She made last January a lot more bearable. (Jill calls it "the laying on of paws". Lucy Gettelfinger, MD.)
I'm looking forward to getting back home tomorrow, and making plans to get to a station in life where I can have a Lucy of my own.
Also: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEN! I love you!
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