Homeslice

I'm back at the parental crib after a week of extended-family/post-op shenanigans. I am struggling to remember when I was THIS glad to be in my own bed. I had a long chat with BFF Molly tonight, and we talked about the idea of shifts and changes. Things around me are shifting significantly-- my family is changing shape, everyone is getting older, all of my close friends are grown-ups now, etc.-- and most of these changes are not of my own doing. I'm reacting to them, instead of creating them, so it feels a little like I'm getting tossed around on a rough sea instead of...hmmm...I guess a decent analogy would be surfing on that rough sea. Like, I'm a rickety little fishing boat, feeling like I have to vom, instead of being in a hot wetsuit, atop a surfboard, making the waves work for me. Yes-- that's the analogy. I want to hang ten, not toss cookies. AND THERE'S THE NEW MANTRA!!

So, there is some familial drama. Per my policy, I won't delve into details, but a few of my relatives need to pull their heads out of their asses. I am very lucky in that I have a large family on both sides, and that there are a ton of different personalities to enjoy. There are certainly members of my family that I don't particularly like; this is only natural. I love them, of course, and I care about their well-being, but I wouldn't be tempted to call them out of the blue to shoot the shit. I feel like this is a reasonable way to approach family. You can't be besties with all of them, but you do have to find a way to love them for who they are. However, not everyone subscribes to this method. Two of my favorite family members operate under the "you bring nothing to my life but drama, therefore I don't feel compelled to give a shit about you come hell or high water" method. This is bothersome. Sister Jennie is afraid that some of the family crap is bordering on Jerry Springer-esque. UNACCEPTABLE. Maybe it's easier or simpler to just cut people out, but family, as a broad concept, isn't supposed to be simple. It's flawed, unfair, dramatic, and unpredictable. Sort of like EVERYTHING ELSE THAT MATTERS. There are so few things that are black-and-white-- and I'm generally at odds with people who try to ignore the shades of gray.

Ok-- it's 3am. Even though I spent the last week off work, it was neither rejuvenating or relaxing, so I am exhaustified. Good night-- I should be resuming regular postings this week.